While you grandparents may have had to walk 10 miles to school in the cold (both ways) without shoes, (which my mother actually did) the obstacles you as a young adult are presented with today are no picnic either, and they reflect the tumultuous nature of our time. Intense media saturation, online predators and harassment, fear of terrorism, drugs, depression, and peer pressure are just a few of the hurdles teens regularly face. Life is about choices, and the decisions you makes today can affect your life in years to come, long after high school is over. Here are six key decisions you should consider and talk with your parents about:
•School: How do you plan to spend your years in school? Do you take your studies seriously? You should! You only have a total of 4 year in high school to literally define what your life can and will be. See my earlier posts on the subjects of School, Education, and Study Habits.
•Friends: How do you choose your friends? Do you surround yourself with people that lift you up and make you feel supported? Do you worry that you are "supposed to be" friends with a certain crowd of people? How do you feel about popularity? Make sure to have an open dialogue with your parents about all the different aspects of choosing friends, and the complications that can arise with maintaining those relationships. This includes romantic relationships!
• Parents: How is your relationship with your parents? Do you realize that they are always going to be there for you, but you need to respect the boundaries they set? As you begin to crave more freedom and fewer restrictions from your parents, it will be important that you understand that those freedoms come with additional responsibilities and a higher level of trust. Keeping the lines of communication open with your parents is essential. This is the most important relationship you will ever have with another human being...don't waste it.
•Dating & Sex: How do you feel about dating, and what does you know about sex? This can be the most difficult of the 6 decisions for you to discuss with your parents, but it is arguably one of the most important. Talk openly with your parents about your feelings, desires, and fears, but make sure you are crystal clear on the serious risks, both physical and emotional, that come with any serious romantic relationship. Brainstorm with your parents on ways you can keep dating "safe." Talk openly about group dates, curfews, and other ideas for keeping your love life in a place that is comfortable for both you and your parents.
•Addictions: Do you recognize the serious dangers that accompany alcohol and drug use or does your attitude seem a little flippant and carefree? Talk to your parents about drugs and alcohol, and be truthful about any experimentation you, or even your friends, have engaged in. Curiosity is normal in teens, but nothing is more vital than ensuring you make it out of your teen years with your mind and body intact and under your own control.
•Self-Worth: Of all the 6 decisions, this can be the one that truly determines how you will face the other 5. If you learn to see yourself in the best light possible, learns to love yourself - flaws and all - the temptations of drugs, drinking, blowing off school, and sex before you are ready won't seem so tempting. Talk to your parents about how you feel about your self worth. Examine your life and figure out ways you can avoid compromising your character.
Sure, talking to your parents can be difficult. But having to endure drug or alcohol addiction, an unwanted pregnancy, or even failing grades can be a lot worse for you and your parents. The more you share, and the more you truly listen to your parents, the easier it will be to communicate in the future. Use the above 6 decisions as a guideline, and let your parents know you are really interested in what they have to say. You'll be amazed where the conversation and your future takes you.
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